Shonda Rhimes is famous for her brilliant book, “Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun, and Be Your Own Person.”
I decided this month I’d create my own experiment- “The Month of No.”
I have a huge wall calendar and every day this month I’ve kept track of something I declined, cancelled, or said ‘no’ to. Some included speaking invitations that I wanted to say yes to, but I knew that it’d require time and energy that I didn’t have. I cancelled monthly subscriptions for supplements I didn’t need. Monthly skincare subscription products that I had stockpiled under my cabinet. I declined meetings that weren’t mandatory. Turned down a few project collaborations that didn’t spark interest. Declined a baby shower and happy hour invitations. Returned clothes that I ordered online and didn’t absolutely love.
This experiment is giving me full permission to deeply listen to myself. Honor that quiet voice and my own inner ‘no.’ It’s allowed me to have the time and space to meet up with friends who I really love spending time with, call people and actually talk on the phone, and create art from a place of freedom and joy. Simplifying my life by clearing out the excess has shown me how happiness (for me) is found in the beautiful mundane- reading books in the evening underneath a weighted blanket, morning walks in nature enjoying the crisp weather and the turning colors of leaves. Making nature mandalas. Cooking delicious meals at home.
Saying no to so many things has cleared my calendar to make space for the people and projects that light me up and energize me. It’s simplified my life in a myriad of ways. By saying no to the ambivalent time-fillers, now I can focus my days on things I truly care about.
It’s also given me a healthy respect when people say no to me. I applaud them for advocating for themselves, and honoring the rest and time they need for their own mental and physical health.
I imagine there are many benefits to a year of YES. But for now, I’m loving the subtraction, the simplifying, the paring down.
Saying no has freed me to say yes to my own life. It is simple, yet full and beautiful.