Last night, I sat cross-legged on my closet floor and read through my journals from this past year. All four of them. There were some great ideas tucked in those pages, along with some dramatic lines of poems that could've become something amazing, but yet remain orphaned. There was mostly a lot of uninspired and horrible writing. There were some days when the entries were really short, scribbled in half-awake messy handwriting- It's 4:15am and I have a work meeting at 6am. And I'm going to my first MeetUp after work. I'm hungry to meet other people with new ideas and new inspiration and hopefully the ratio of guys:girls will work in my favor.
I'm glad it's all there- a keepsake of my creative process.
There was one overarching feeling that I got while reading through these pages and pages of my daily thoughts- I was pleasantly surprised.
Life is interesting like that. Business ideas that I thought would take off actually fizzled, and how others that were once seeds that I didn't think could survive actually took root and are growing, ever so slowly, but organically and genuinely.
In examining my friendships this past year through the lens of those pages, I've discovered it's the same way with people. How things change in an unplanned way, for better or for worse. And sometimes you have to literally take a step back from a person you've known for years and just look at them from a distance to recognize if it's really them. Suddenly, it's no longer the same person you had seen a million times before. Now, the light hits their hair differently and their eyes dance when they speak to you, and suddenly they are a mysterious ocean that you can't wait to dive deep into and explore. And how you can't help but feel pleasantly surprised at the irony and the beauty of it all.
Today I placed my order for 2016 Team Betty kits. Included in that order was a one-piece trisuit (did I really just type that?). A year ago, I thought I was finished with triathlon and racing. But now, I'm itching to race and welcoming back swimbikerun into my life with a grin. It's been a pleasant surprise, to say the least.
SCA trail along Marin Headlands...
Morning miles along the Alta trail.
I did a solo long run this morning, just exploring new trails and following my curiosity. There are many days that I don't get it right in life. But then there are days like today when I do get it right, when the trails connect and I don't get lost, and when I discover a whole new patch of trees and ocean that I've never seen before. When that happens, I can't help but feel just a bit pleasantly surprised. Those are the good days. The ones we hang on to.
May 2016 be filled with new adventures, new opportunities, and new challenges that open up your eyes to the world. I hope you write your dreams down. I hope you write your fears down. I hope you record your daily thoughts in this journey we call life, so that one day you can look back and laugh and cry and reminisce and remember. And above all, I hope that you are pleasantly surprised.